Tampa Bay Lightning

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What the good players are longing to do

The Tampa Bay Lightning enjoy music, moonlit strolls along the gulf coast's many beaches, and winning Stanley Cups. Turn-offs include neckbeards, good goaltending, and sensical salary cap management. Lately have shown renewed interest in earning high draft picks by icing a team of Vincent Lecavalier and 19 Teddy Purcells.

Fun and True Lightning Facts

  • Stellar 100% winning percentage in Stanley Cups finals they have reached.
  • Traded Dan Boyle months after giving him a no trade clause.
  • Current GM is Steve Yzerman who is called "cyclops" by Deafmute because of a scratched cornea. Ponder me that.
  • Current coach ripped from the hands of God's chosen people

GM History

  • Ex-GM Jay Feaster washed cars to get playoff tickets to sell out. Seriously.

Coach History

Owner History

  • Once owned by the Crypt keeper
  • Previous co-owner produces the show Two And A Half Men. The other previous co-owner had an NHL career that lasted the equivalent of two and a half seasons.
  • Previous co-owner played hockey with former coach John Tortorella in the minors. The other previous co-owner chose to fire him when assuming ownership.

Lightning Firsts!

Lightning Angles

  • Gambling
  • Trades like they are GMs in NHL10
  • Seriously, though, GEOGRAPHY. (There is no snow there, you see.)
  • All of these angles are still very, very funny and should be used often.

SAS Lightning Fans

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