South Carolina Gamecocks

From SAS Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Official logo. Has actually been criticized as a symbol of animal cruelty because PETA is batshit insane.

The University of South Carolina is the flagship university of the state and a perennial basement-dweller of the Southeastern Conference. Formerly a charter member of the Atlantic Coast Conference, the Gamecocks left for the SEC in 1992 but are pretty much still playing ACC football.

But don't worry! There's always next year...


Among the things South Carolina fails at, it is unable to use a moniker for itself that is not also used by a better, more successful program. ESPN has "solved" this problem with the retarded abbreviation "SCAR."

National Championships

  • 2002 Women's Track and Field
  • A whole bunch of equestrian titles USC fans wish counted
  • 2010 Men's Baseball

The Chicken Curse

South Carolina governor Ben "Pitchfork" Tillman, who founded Clemson in direct opposition of USC, allegedly cursed the Gamecocks' athletic programs from ever tasting success. This seems to have worked pretty well so far, with the most prominent example being Navy's upset of #2 USC when the Gamecocks were on their way to a 1984 title bid.

Unfortunately, Clemson's football team won the national title in 1981, which is something their fans still brag about to this day. The reason is that aside from that lone bright spot, Clemson athletics have sucked just as much as USC's, and that's without voodoo bullshit from dead white guys.


The South Carolina football program has excelled at being thoroughly mediocre and even terrible throughout its 113-year existence. The Gamecocks have played in approximately 43589 different conferences and had a brief period of independence in the 80's, which are often thought of as the glory years. George Rogers, the school's only Heisman Trophy winner, won the award in 1980.

And that's about where it ends. The current washed up has-been coaching at USC is Steve Spurrier, who by all accounts, would much rather be golfing.


The athletic standard of excellence at South Carolina, the Gamecock baseball team (affectionately referred to as the Yardcocks) legitimately kick ass. Because of this, USC fans pretend to actually care about college baseball.

The Yardcocks have appeared in the College World Series 9 times, and 4 of those visits culminated in a trip to the championship series. In 2010, USC beat Clemson twice in two days to advance, then swept UCLA to win its first ever (and probably last) national title in any major sport.

Yardcocks win.jpg

Pictured above is a player holding the gay ass "Avatar Spirit Stick," something the team came up with for rallies since every baseball player ever is a fucking sperglord.


Doomed forever to be the "other" sport at USC, South Carolina basketball is actually not that bad by SEC standards -- which means the team frequently hovers around the .500 mark and is on the NIT bubble. About the coolest thing the basketball team has produced is Gamecock Jesus, some crazy old dude who has gone to every home game for a bazillion years and has his own special seat.

Gamecock basketball boasts two NIT titles (2005 and 2006, only the second time a team has had back-to-back titles), a regular season SEC title (1996) and an ACC title (1971). The latter is significant only because Clemson is the only ACC charter member that still does not have an ACC title.

Kentucky upset.jpg

The finest moment yet in Gamecock basketball came in 2010, when USC upset the #1 Kentucky Wildcats 68-62. It marked the first time the Gamecocks had beaten a #1 team and continued Devan Downey's inexplicable dominance over UK.


Much like its home state, South Carolina has had its embarrassing moments. One of the few times USC caught national attention was when fratboys wore their baseball hats in the movie Borat. Hats, of course, that have COCKS in large letters on the front.

Everything these fratboys do is because of Borat, though. Don't blame them, they're being controlled! Controlled by free beer and promises of being famous in Kazakhstan.

Joke's on them. Kazakhstan is full of Florida fans.

At least a million times better looking than SoCal's.

Stupid lawsuits

In 2009, Southern California took USC to court over the baseball team's interlocking "SC" logo. SoCal claimed it was too similar to the one they use for their own baseball program and won the case. In actuality, they were probably just mad that theirs looks like total dogshit in comparison.


Some of the best fans on God's green earth. Williams-Brice Stadium still having sold-out crowds during 0-11 seasons proves this as objective fact.


The Gamecock football team makes their grand entrance to the theme of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Regardless of what Clemson fans say, their entrance is like watching paint dry in comparison.

USC is also solely responsible for the fact that Sandstorm is now overused by just about every school in the country.


Cocky has won two Capital One Mascot Challenges because he kicks just that much ass. In a sad attempt at duplicating his awesomeness, Jacksonville State ripped off not only the general Gamecock name, but also call their shit mascot Cocky. Unfortunately for them, their "Cocky" looks like he has Downs.

The Carolina-Clemson Rivalry

Playa Hater. The original Clemson fan.

From a Carolina fan's perspective. This lore is known by every USC student--or at least anyone with access to Wikipedia.

It all began when "Pitchfork" Benjamin Tillman, who went on to be South Carolina's (arguably) most racist governor, emerged as a leader of the agrarian movement during the 1880s. He didn't like South Carolina College (who later changed their name to USC) because they focused on snobby things like "reading" and "writing" instead of agriculture, which Tillman saw as South Carolina's future. Thus, because USC was polluted with "books" and "thinking," nothing less than a separate agricultural college was needed.

When "Pitchfork" Ben finally got his chance, he argued that an agricultural college would be immune to "possible invasion by the negroes," which had apparently damaged USC during Reconstruction. Because Tillman campaigned for an agricultural college by exploiting class antagonism between South Carolina's different regions, the founding of Clemson University led to a rebirth of class antagonism and sectional conflict within SC. Nota bene: this has resulted in damage to SC's economy which continues to this day.

Ben Tillman was soon elected governor. When he wasn't busy passing Jim Crow laws and fantasizing about hanging blacks, he did everything in his power to shut down USC. Thankfully, he didn't succeed, because after World War II Clemson actively sought to prevent veterans from entering in order to prevent an influx of minority students (a discrepancy which exists to this day).

Thus, it is really important to USC fans that we defeat Clemson on the gladiatorial field of battle--football.


Other teams USC fans hate



Alabama Crimson Tide
Arkansas Razorbacks
Auburn Tigers
LSU Tigers
Mississippi State Bulldogs
Ole Miss Rebels


Florida Gators
Georgia Bulldogs
Kentucky Wildcats
South Carolina Gamecocks
Tennessee Volunteers
Vanderbilt Commodores


Atlantic Coast
Big 12 10
Big East
Big Ten Twelve
Pac 12 10
SEC Smug.gif

Western Athletic
Mountain West
Sun Belt
Conference USA