Rick Hendrick

From SAS Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Joseph Riddick Hendrick III, better known as Rick, owns Hendrick Motorsports. He is a convicted and pardoned felon, and owner of four Nextel Cup teams.

I want to make this funny, but fuck if I just can't get past the fact that he'd rather be called Rick than Riddick. How can you not want to be called fucking Riddick?

Rick Hendrick.jpg


  • Courageously owns 65 car dealerships under the Hendrick Automotive Group, which makes more than 2 billion dollars a year
  • Courageously was the basis of Randy Quaid's character in Days of Thunder
  • Courageously, his middle name is Riddick.
  • Courageously owned a drag boat racing team that won three national championships from 1981-1983
  • Courageously owns five Winston Cup, three truck, and one Busch series titles
  • Courageously fought leukemia and is in full remission.
  • Courageously lost his son, brother, and two nieces in a plane crash outside Martinsville in 2005.


  • Was responsible for keeping noted Yankee prick Geoff Bodine employed, to the detriment of other racers.
  • Despite being from country Virginia, and becoming rich in North Carolina, Rick hates rednecks and wants to crush any hope or joy they may have in their miserable, trailer-bound existence. Or at least, that's my theory for why he signed Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson.
  • That plane crash? Might have actually been his brother's fault.
  • Was convicted of mail fraud in a bribery case with Honda executives way back in 1997. In order to get better allocations of cars, he gave BMWs (those zaibatsu and their wacky company loyalty), houses and several hundred grand in cash to Honda execs.
  • Despite all that, he was only convicted on one count, over a 20,000 dollar bribe, and received a three year sentence, and a quarter million dollar fine, which luckily he had on him in folding cash that day.
  • You wanna talk about weird fucking luck? He was diagnosed with leukemia two weeks before he was indicted. This meant that not only was he convicted on the one count, his three year sentence was changed to a year of house arrest, leading to the first recorded case of a man saying, "Thank God for this leukemia".
  • He was also ordered not to have anything to do with his dealerships or NASCAR team for a year, which was no relief for NASCAR fans. His racer Jeff Gordon won 13 races and the Winston Cup, making sure to thank Rick (weepingly, at length) in Victory Lane, each and every single fucking time.
  • Then when Bill Clinton was about to leave office, he pardoned Hendrick, which meant that none of the above ever happened, and he'll fucking sue if you say otherwise.
  • Under the "even a broken heartless shell of a website for moral reptiles is right once a decade" theory, Free Republic dug this out:
  1. Hendrick was on the Board of Directors of NationsBank.
  2. Hendrick's friend Hugh McColl was the chairman of NationsBank at that time.
  3. NationsBank merged with Bank of America
  4. Hugh McColl became chairman and CEO of Bank of America
  5. Rick Hendrick requested a pardon from Bill Clinton
  6. Bank of America chairman Hugh McColl wrote a letter to Bill Clinton recommending a pardon for Rick Hendrick
  7. On December 7, 2000, Hugh McColl announced that Bank of America would donate $500,000 to the Clinton Foundation
  8. On December 21, 2000, Bill Clinton granted a pardon to Rick Hendrick.