Ben Roethlisberger

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How do I rode bike?
:psyberger:


Ben is a quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers. He is also the second coming of Ghost Rider, or would have been if he'd died after crashing his bike without a helmet. Really likes rape.

Ben won the inaugural TFF Douchebag of the Year award for the 2009-2010 football year. Henceforth the yearly tournament will be for the coveted Ben Roethlisberger Douchebag of the Year award.

All of his bitches take shots




Things Ben Is Good At

rape

Things Ben Is Bad At

Not getting sacked.


TFF Douchebag of The Year 2009-2010

Main article: TFF Douchebag of the Year 2009-2010

nnnAdam's artistic contribution

Ben's douchiness inspired many TFF users to break out into poetry to extoll just how legendary a douche Ben is.

nnnAdam:

Hickory dickory dock, time dwindled off of the clock,
She tried to escape with a seven step drop,
But couldn't escape from the bathroom of cock,
Now she's taking it like it or not.
Big Ben shuffled in with a devious grin, His face red like sunset, his breath soaked with gin, Friends begged and they reasoned but were not let in, Now the bathroom wall is glazed with Roethlisberger kin.

DKCecil:

Whosever QB this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His jersey is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite sticky and damp.
His playbook is wedged in the window,
His towel's been thrown on the floor.
His helmet and cleats are beneath the wood seats,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His women are jammed in the closet,
His pads have been left in the hall.
A small bathroom stall and a quick, graceless fall,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever QB this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Charlie or Byron or--
Huh? You say it's Ben? Oh, dear,
I knew he looked familiar!

crankdatbatman dropped a haiku:

Big Ben, college town
meeting you in the bathroom
his penis is out.

narghile contributed a song written by Big Ben himself!

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Poon - by Ben Roethlisburgrehgher
Do not go gentle into that good poon Groins should burn and trickle at close of day; Rage, rage against the mockery of goons.
Though Kobe knows his way around a hotel room Because his titles had not yet been he Did not go gentle into that good poon.
Iron Mike, last time, crying a tune His deeds might have landed him in Pelican Bay, Rage, rage against the mockery of goons.
LT who called girls to a hotel room And learn, too late, their actual age, Did not go gentle into that good poon.
Kirby Puckett, near death, in a restroom Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be (not) gay, Rage, rage against the mockery of goons.
And you, Michael Irvin, analyst in bloom, Curse, bless, your accuser with fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good poon. Rage, rage against the mockery of goons.

ChickenMedium:

O Roethlisberger, my Roethlisberger! our fearful trip is done;
The hand has fondled every rack, the rape you sought as fun;
The club is near, the coeds I hear, the women all sobbing,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the penis grey and throbbing:
But O peen! peen! peen!
O the spurting drops of man,
Where on the deck my Roethlisberger lies,
Fallen drunk in the can. 

Arnold Layne:

I was sitting at the local bar
Someone noticed me from afar
Big Ben, the gray dicked one
I was offered a lot of shots I couldn't tell that there were other thoughts Big Ben, the gray dicked one
I told him that it wouldn't be okay But then he went about it anyway Big Ben, the gray dicked one
I've seen the bottom of a bathroom floor They tried to save me from taking more But there was Willie just blocking the door

el samayo grande:

I vote Ben Roethlisberger for douche of the year.
He is so much worse than Craig James could ever be.
Trapped in a bathroom with Ben is a college girl's worst fear.
Roethlisberger's a pretty shitty qb Who happens to play on a superior team but thinks that he's a complete pimp daddy
So as big of a douchebag as Craig James may seem Trying to fire Mike Leach for benching his son His bodyguards didn't keep a girl from leaving the scene
This TFF douche tournament is almost done To determine the biggest asshole of all In your hearts you know Big Ben's the one.

C-Euro set it to devo!:

The club is hot
My bitches take a shot
Little Ben's out
Don't you try to shout
When a co-ed comes along You must rape it! They're all lovin my gray dong You must rape it! Security tapes are gone You must rape it!
Now rape it! In the stall Got you pinned My guard's on call Take a shot Give me head Try to indict me You're not my first To be raped Rape it good!
When a good time turns around When I raped it Big Ben won't live it down Because I raped it But I will be getting off Although I raped it!
I say rape it! Rape it good! I say rape it! Rape it good!
The club is hot My bitches take a shot Little Ben's out Don't you try to shout
When a co-ed comes along You must rape it! They're all lovin my gray dong You must rape it! Security tapes are gone You must rape it!
Now rape it! In the stall Got you pinned My guard's on call Take a shot Give me head Try to indict me You're not my first Now rape it! In the stall Got you pinned My guard's on call Take a shot Give me head Try to indict me You're not my first To be raped Rape it good!

Narghile:

You may write me down in history
With your mouths agape,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like Ben, I'll rape.
Does my gray scepter upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? 'Cause I've got AIDS ridden cum Pumping through your poon.
Just like Kobe and Ben, With the certainty of fate, Just like cocks springing high, Still I'll rape.
Did I want to see you broken? Bowed head and lowered thong? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my ashy dong.
Does my haughtiness offend you? You will take it awful hard 'Cause I laugh like my herpes Is dormant, I am hard.
I may shoot you in the eyes, I may grab you my your nape. I may shame you with your slutiness, But still, like Ben, I'll rape.
Does my manliness surprise you? Does it come to you as wrong That I dance like I've got pus Oozing slowly from my dong?
Out of hotel rooms in Nevada I rape Up from a corner cast with shadow I rape I'm a quarterback, throwing the ball Stunning and running I make the call. Leaving behind sticky presents I rape Into people lower than peasants I rape Bringing the gifts that come from men, I am the dream. The hope. Big Ben. I rape I rape I rape.