North Carolina Tar Heels
From SAS Wiki
North Carolina Tar Heels is the name of all the athletic teams at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. In football, they are one of the biggest producers of NFL talent that no one has ever thought of. In basketball, they are the biggest producers of NBA talent in the nation. The football team is coached by the lord savior Jesus Christ and their basketball team is coached by God. They also play other sports like soccer but honestly no one but the gays give a shit about Carolina soccer, and there are a lot of gays there.
- Tar Heels is two words. Tarheels isn't a word at all, sucker
- Carolina is also acceptable; all other Carolinas are clearly frontin but we have no time or energy to engage in such a circular argument
- Chapel Hill: the perfect college town. It's essentially a collegiate theme park.
- In basketball, the Tar Heels' biggest rival is the Duke Blue Devils. Ask a Duke fan about football!
- No one in Chapel Hill cares about NC State University, a fact that State fans have not totally come to grips with. Maybe one day...
- Roy Williams cannot fucking make in game adjustments (lol Wayne Ellington fade away threes amiright) to save his life and is well on his way to Dean Smith levels of underperforming with superior talent. [Update: whoops, won the 2009 national championship by handing the Michigan State Spartans their ass in the championship game in Detroit.]
- Mmmmmmm Michael Jordan
- Really all that matters is beating Duke.
- Some posit that the Tar Heels don't have as many basketball championships as they should given the breadth of talent that has played for Carolina over the years. Too bad they couldn't have played in the powerhouse conferences like the SEC and Pac-10 in the seventies and eighties back when you had to win your conference to get to the tournament or they wouldn't have to play anyone hard i mean do you have any idea how tiring the ACC is to play in please a loss in the ACC is like a win in the Big 10.
- Schools that claim rivalry: Duke, NC State, Wake Forest, Virginia, South Carolina, ECU, App State, Pitt Community College.
Contents |
Basketball
In the words of the Lord, "North Carolina Basketball is the most blessed thing in all of the land. It pretty much reminds us that all was once good, and will be good again."
Coaches
The Early Years
Won a bunch of conference tournaments and regular season championships throughout the 1920's, 1930's and 1940's. Won an undefeated national championship in 1924 (beating Kentucky, the only other team that mattered) that only suckers won't acknowledge. Lost in the title game in 1946 to Oklahoma State, then called Oklahoma A&M. Grounds for revocation if you ask me.
Frank McGuire
It was during the 1950's that North Carolina laid the foundation for Future Greatness. College basketball began picking up in the 1950's in North Carolina (the center of the college basketball universe). Everett Case had a fairly successful program going over at NC State and the annual Dixie Classic tournament in Raleigh pitted the "Big Four" North Carolina schools, the host NC State Wolfpack, Duke Blue Devils, North Carolina Tar Heels, and Wake Forest Demon Deacons, and four teams from across the country. Enter Frank McGuire, a savvy New York coach with the chops to create a pipeline of basketball talent down to Chapel Hill. Led by Lennie Rosenbluth, the 1957 national championship squad beat Michigan State (which has become a hell of a tradition) in three overtimes in the Final Four and Wilt Chamberlain's Kansas Jayhawks squad in three overtimes in the finals, the only triple-overtime national championship game to this day, to go undefeated for the season and bring Carolina its first NCAA championship.
The 1957 championship game in Kansas City was broadcast to a hastily-created network of stations across North Carolina, which no doubt planted the seed for the college basketball craze which has remaining a reassuring constant across the state.
Unfortunately, McGuire's tenure didn't end the way anyone would have liked. He committed recruiting violations and the school was placed on NCAA probation for the only time in its existence. He was summarily dismissed and banished to coach the South Carolina. Fortunately, he was replaced by...
Dean Smith
Among the accomplishments of Smith:
- Aided in the desegregation of Chapel Hill restaurants. The man is a golden god.
- 879 wins in 36 years of coaching, 2nd most in men's college Division I basketball history behind Bobby Knight.
- 77.6% winning percentage, which puts him 9th on highest winning percentage.
- Fourth total number of college games coached with 1,133.
- Most Division I 20-win seasons, with 27 consecutive 20-win seasons from 1970–1997
- 22 seasons with at least 25 wins
- 35 consecutive seasons with a 50% or better record.
- Was actually the first to fuck Phil Ford's wife, way before Shammond Williams made it popular.
- Two national championships (1982, 1993)
- 11 Final Fours (second all-time to John Wooden's 12).
- 17 regular-season ACC titles, plus 33 straight years finishing in the conference's top three and 20 years in the top two
- 13 ACC tournament titles
- 27 NCAA tournament appearances, including 23 consecutive.
- Once ate 51 hard boiled eggs just because he could.
- 96.6% graduation rate among players. Second only to Duke because no Blue Devils are good enough to leave early.
- Recruited 26 All-Americans to play at North Carolina under him.
- His players were often successful in the NBA. Five of Smith's players have been Rookie of the Year in either the NBA or ABA. Among Smith's most successful players in the NBA are Michael Jordan, Larry Brown, James Worthy, Sam Perkins, Phil Ford, Bob McAdoo, Billy Cunningham, Kenny Smith, Walter Davis, Jerry Stackhouse, Antawn Jamison, Rick Fox, Vince Carter and Rasheed Wallace. Smith coached 25 NBA first round draft picks.
- Is awesome.
- In 1976, Smith coached the United States team to a gold medal at the Summer Olympics in Montreal.
- Smith is one of only three coaches to have coached teams to an Olympic gold medal, an NIT championship and an NCAA championship. The others are Pete Newell and Bobby Knight.
- Smith is one of only two people that have both played on and coached a winning NCAA championship basketball team. The other is Bobby Knight.
- Pretty much the best coach ever.
Eat shit K
Bill Guthridge
- Demonstrably not Dean Smith
- If nothing else, a good guy. A longtime assistant at Carolina, he at one point accepted the head coaching job at Penn State (a Big Ten school, mind you) only to stand down a few days later to continue as an assistant at Carolina.
- Made poor decisions with regard to recruiting. Quick and dirty, here's a rundown of the lowlights:
- Sideshow Neil Fingleton, England's tallest man. Could not outrun a rascal scooter. He played for one year at Carolina before Matt Doherty forced him to transfer. Played out the rest of his career at Holy Cross. He's now trying to make it as an actor on Channel One or some shit. Good luck.
- Kris Lang, glorified white trash. He had no reason to be there. Let's all just agree to disavow his existence, okay?
- Jason Capel, brother of noted unscrupulous Oklahoma coach Jeff Capel. A total team cancer and one of the reasons that Carolina went 8-20 at the nadir of Doherty's tenure.
- Joseph Forte, a two guard that inexplicably won ACC Freshman of the Year and ACC Player of the Year (as a sophomore) despite essentially being unable to dribble. He was a total asshole and it's hard to blame Jason Capel for running him out of town. Don't perceive that as praise, Jason. How are you the head coach at App? It freakin' boggles the mind. Whatever.
- Had a team with Antwan Jamison, Vince Carter, Brendan Heywood, Shammond Williams, Ed Cota and Jamball superstar Makhtar Ndjiye and somehow still didn't win the National Championship.
Matt Doherty
- FAIL
- Insisted on bringing his shitty staff from Notre Dame
- Managed to recruit Raymond Felton, Sean May, and Rashad McCants.
- Won coach of the year with Guthridge's players.
- Got to the tournament once and didn't get past the second round.
- Only beat Duke once.
- Threw a basketball at a Carolina player's head in practice
- Not even Julius Peppers could save him. JULIUS PEPPERS.
- Fired all of the longtime basketball operations employees.
- He did call Duke cheerleaders ugly. This is true, they are intensely busted.
- Fired Phil Ford. Unforgivable.
- Eventually run off, now coaching at SMU. Acknowledges that he has made some mistakes and has since returned to Chapel Hill to ask for forgiveness. The jury is still out.
Roy Williams
- Finally left that shit hole Lawrence to come home to Chapel Hill
- Won two National Championships, no big deal oh wait it is
- Recruited Tyler Hansbrough, Harrison Barnes, other ballers of class and stature
- Is God
- Williams won more games in the first 15 seasons of his coaching career than anyone else in NCAA history.
- Williams is the 12th coach to lead two schools to the Final Four and the third (with Larry Brown and Frank McGuire) to direct two schools to the championship game. <ref name="bio"/>
- Williams is tied for sixth all-time in NCAA Tournament wins with 42 and has an NCAA postseason win percentage of .724, fourth-best among active coaches. Seven of his teams have been seeded No. 1 in a region in NCAA play.
- Williams has coached a team to 30 or more wins six times, which equals the second-most in NCAA history. He has won 20 or more games 16 times in 18 years (winning 19 in his first seasons at Kansas and UNC), including 14 straight seasons at Kansas, a streak that equaled the third longest in NCAA history. <ref name="bio"/>
- He was the third-fastest coach in history to reach 300 wins and fourth fastest to 400. He reached 500 wins in his 19th season, faster than any other Division I coach. He has won more games than any coach after eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18 seasons as a head coach. He is the second-winningest Jayhawk coach in history behind Smith's college coach, Phog Allen.
- Williams earned National Coach of the Year honors at Kansas in 1990, 1991, 1992 and 1997 and was Big Eight/Big 12 Coach of the Year seven times (1990, 1992, 1995, 1996, 1997, 2002 and 2003). The New York Athletic Club presented him with its National Coach of the Year award in 2005. He received the John R. Wooden Legends of Coaching Award in 2003 from the Los Angeles Athletic Club.
- Williams helped coach Team USA to a bronze medal at the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens, Greece with fellow UNC alumnus Larry Brown. Too bad the A-list NBAtalent was too terrified by the threat of terrorism to be bothered to represent 'Merica in the Olympics. Pretty sure I'd have been over there even with a stated 10% chance that grainy .jpeg video of me being decapitated by militants would later make its way onto bittorrent.
- Williams is the winningest active coach by percentage among coaches with at least 10 years experience. His teams have a 524-130 record, a win percentage of .801.
- Williams captured his 100th overall victory since coaching in the ACC on March 4, 2007, against the Duke Blue Devils. Williams is the second-fastest ACC coach to reach 100 victories.
- Williams has won at least one game in the NCAA Tournament for 18 consecutive years (all-time record).
- Williams reached 500 wins faster than any other NCAA basketball coach.
Current NBA Players
- Vince Carter
- Raymond Felton
- Sean May
- Antawn Jamison
- Jeff McInnis
- Marvin Williams
- Jackie Manuel
- Brendan Heywood
- Ed Davis
- Ty Lawson
- Danny Green
- Wayne Ellington
Michael Jordan
Charlotte Bobcats
objectively better now that they're being coached by a Tar Heel
Carolina against Duke
Football
will get to this later, hold your horses
