Minnesota Golden Gophers are the college sports team for the University of Minnesota.

Contents 1 Football 1.1 Good Times 1.2 Modern Era 1.3 The Future 1.4 Lessons in Natural Philosophy 2 Hockey 3 Basketball 4 Wrestling 5 Goldy 6 Related

Football

Good Times

Back when things were in black and white and there were seven NCAA colleges the Minnesota Gophers actually won games. The Gophers were National Champions in 1934, 1935, 1936, 1940, 1941, and 1960! They even had a Heisman Trophy winner in 1941 named Bruce Smith (not the black one).

Modern Era

There is simply no way to sum up the hilarious level of failure that has occurred in recent years. How does losing a game to the Wisconsin Badgers sound by having a punter drop the ball, fumble around for it, and then lose it in the endzone in the last minute of a game when all he had to do was kick it sound? How does losing the Insight Bowl after having a 38-7 lead in the third quarter sound? How does being really bad sound?

One time Minnesota beat #2 Penn State and PSU hasn't been ranked higher than #3 since then. This is because the taint of the loss will be passed on to their children and their children's children.

The Future

Lessons in Natural Philosophy

Hockey

Actually good. Both Men and Women's teams hockey has had success and not brought epic levels of shame.

Basketball

Glen Haskins was pretty cool. Tubby Smith came to Minnesota in shame after leaving the Kentucky Wildcats. His failure in Kentucky of one National Championship in 1998, a perfect 16-0 regular season conference record in 2003, five SEC regular season championships (1998, 1999, 2001, 2003, 2005) and five SEC Tournament titles (1998, 1999, 2001, 2003, 2004), with six Sweet Sixteen finishes and four Elite Eight finishes (1998, 1999, 2003, 2005) in his nine seasons. He totaled 100 wins quicker than any other Wildcat coach except Hall of Famer Adolph Rupp, reaching the plateau in 130 games. PATHETIC.

Wrestling

Not Sports Entertainment. The more gay version. No one cares about this except farmers.

Goldy

Related

• Minnesota State Screaming Eagles

• Failure

• Gendo

• Tim Brewster

NCAA DIVISION I
BIG TEN
Illinois Fighting Illini Indiana Hoosiers Iowa Hawkeyes Michigan Wolverines Michigan State Spartans Minnesota Golden Gophers		Northwestern Wildcats Ohio State Buckeyes Penn State Nittany Lions Purdue Boilermakers Wisconsin Badgers Nebraska Cornhuskers (2011 get your corn on)
BCS CONFERENCES		NON-BCS CONFERENCES
Atlantic Coast Big 12 10 Big East Big Ten Twelve Pac 12 10 Southeastern		Mid-American Western Athletic Mountain West Sun Belt Conference USA