Magic Johnson

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The answer is "Not fuck Isaiah Thomas 10,000 times."

Everyone has AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!
Everyone has AIDS!

And so this is the end of our story,
And everyone is dead from AIDS,
It took from me my best friend,
My only true pal,
My only bright star (he died of AIDS),
Well I'm gonna march on Washington,
Lead the fight and charge the brigades,
There's a hero inside of all of us,
I'll make them see everyone has AIDS.

My father (AIDS!),
My sister (AIDS!),
My uncle and my cousin and her best friend (AIDS AIDS AIDS!),
The gays and the straights,
and the whites and the spades,
Everyone has AIDS!,
My grandma and my dog 'Ol Blue (AIDS AIDS AIDS),
The Pope has got it and so do you (AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS),
C'mon everybody we got quilting to do (AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS),
We gotta break down these baricades,
Everyone has,
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS,
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS,
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS,
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS,
AIDS AIDS,
AIDS!

Contents

A Gigantic Idiot

Magic Johnson is one of the few people who can inadvertantly brag about having AIDS and still get public sympathy. During an TV interview and shortly after he announced he had contracted the HIV virus, Magic bragged about how how he'd had as many as six women at a time. Does Magic's wife have AIDS too? If I were her then I would've killed him by now. He's also horribly overweight now and still participates in all of the awful NBA All-Star Weekend no matter how many T-cells he loses in the process.

In the announcement presser, said that he had "attained" HIV. A proud achievement, to be sure.

Has also claimed (as has his wife) that God has cured him, instead of attributing his longevity to being able to spend millions on the latest treatments.

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheelchair?

  • Roll-AIDS

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