List-Eater

From SAS Wiki

List-eater is one of the many land walruses roaming the campus of Texas A&M. What makes List-eater special is that instead of waiting in line for tickets to the 2005 Cotton Bowl against the Tennessee Volunteers, she decided to show up late and eat the sign-in sheet that patient fans had made while camping out.

The pictures to the right illustrate what a reasonable, thoughful and attractive human List-eater is. She was pelted with doughnuts while the Aggie faithful hurled verbal abuse at her.

The Aftermath

List-eater filed assault charges against an individual with Texas A&M University police. She claimed that someone grabbed her fat face and her fat wrists with all the fat all over them and fatted all over her fatty fat fat. She's fat.

Coach Dennis Franchione made a joking reference to List-eater later in the day saying, "I had to call roll for one group last night and I guess somebody ate that list. So they're pretty competitive on it, but they've had fun."

And then after all that, she sold the tickets.

Memorable Quotes

• "The piece of paper doesn't justify a spot in line to me if no one is standing there. If they wanted a spot, they should've woken up."
• "I'm right with god!"

Related

• List Eater
• Texas A&M
• Honey-Baked Ham