Jorts

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A proud Jorts wearer

Florida Gator branded Jorts

A heated topic of discussion that often divides the forums posters in NCAA Football off-season threads, Jorts - a pair of jeans cut off at the knee to imitate shorts - are a staple of modern collegiate football in America.

History of Jorts

The pre-jorts era of college football was dominated by traditional-minded fashion philosophies. This conservative time period was dominated by the seemingly unstoppable slacks, which would go on to win 35 consecutive national championships with a fashion sense that appeared to stand the test of time. While the "professional yet eloquent" brand of college football was a model for efficiency and success, the American public grew wary of a sport that had become so one-sided. As America's interest in college football began to fade faster than a pair of Levi's soaked in bleach, it became apparent that college football needed a revolution. Somebody that would end the tyranny of slacks forever. Enter Paul "Jorts" Bryant.

Bryant was the visionary coached who incorporated Jorts into the college football landscape, thus changing the shape of the game forever. The idea was concocted during one of Bryant's legendary marijuana binges, where the idea to combine the rugged durablity of jeans with the practical flexibility of shorts was put into action. Towards the end of this marijuana binge, Bryant would be quoted as saying "I wasn't gonna wear those jeans anyway" and with that, college football would never be the same.

Over the course of the next decade, Jorts would go on to win six Associated Pressers national championships and, perhaps even more importantly, America's eye. For while the American public could not stand to look at the rugged simplicity of the Jorts style, it did justify their affinity toward other fashion philosophies within college football, including but not limited to: corduroys, khakis, and cargo pants. Unfortunately for Jorts enthusiasts, these new garments were superior to Jorts in most ways, and a vast majority of the country would quickly abandon Jorts. Thus, while the legacy left behind by Jorts is respected by most college football fans, the only people who advocate Jort usage today are Florida Gator fans and a Virginia Tech fan in denial.

"I'll put you through clothing hell, but at the end of the day we'll be champions"

The Great Jorts Debate

Jorts have become the single most discussed topic in NCAA Football off-season threads - and for good reason. There is a deep rift within college football threads on whether the Jort's influence upon modern collegiate football should be praised or ignored:

The pro-jorts posters claim that the Slack dynasty would have never ended without the dichotomous style of Jorts, and that the culture shock of Jorts would shift the power over to alternative styles of clothing. Without their important intervention, they contend, college football may not have gained the popularity and support of today.
The anti-jorts posters claim that the Slack dynasty would have eventually fallen anyway, whether through the Jort intervention of Paul "Jorts" Bryant or otherwise. They often point out that Corduroy Hayes would arrive on the college football scene merely five years after "Jorts" Bryant, and that his superior style of clothing would have inevitably shifted the power structure of college football. Thus, they view Jorts as a mere "passe" style in football that should not be revered at all by college football fans.

Thus, the rampant discussion of Jorts within NCAA Football off-season threads is an important discourse that investigates the relevance of Jorts within modern collegiate football.