Jeremy Shockey

From SAS Wiki

He is a country farm boy from Oklahoma living it up in the big city as a tight end with the New York Giants. With gorgeous flowing locks, and an Adonis-like physique that make him the envy of both sexes, Jeremy Shockey is going places, both on and off the gridiron.

He went to school at the The University of Miami, but unlike many others that went to the NFL from there, he is truly an upstanding citizen who contributes all his time and effort to the community.

One might say he doesn't really care for Bill Parcells.

Needs to review the rules of football after a catch in the 2007 season where he fell over in bounds without being touched by the opposing team, and proceeding to stay down as if he were tackled instead of getting up and running.

On the Field

Shockey displays the flair and subtlety necessary to be a paradigm specimen.

Popularity

Jeremy is beloved throughout the NFL for his heroic antics.

Personal Life

Since being ejaculated straight out of God's most holy scrotum, Shockey has been linked to a number of starlets, including Tara Reid, Albrot, and Mob.

Legacy

He is perhaps most famous for notoriously giving 100% effort on every play, often to the point of over-exertion.

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