Fulmer Cup 2010

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How the hell else are we gonna keep track of all the criminals we cheer for?

The Fulmer Cup, named after Tennessee Volunteers head coach and his school of well-behaved student-athletes, is an invention of EDSBS.

This page only tracks points officially given out by EDSBS. For a rough list of cases currently unscored, for our own reference mostly, please visit the Fulmer Cup Processing Station.

Contents

2010 Scoreboard, FINAL

Also check out the all-time scoreboard, the 2006 scoreboard, the 2007 scoreboard, the 2008 Scoreboard, the 2009 Scoreboard, or Current Scoreboard.

Rank School Points +/- Details
1st Georgia Bulldogs 20 -- Fake IDs, drinking, disorderly conduct, obstruction, Domestic violence, Drunk with Fake ID, AD goes drinking, Refusing to give middle name, Underage DUI, Hit and Run
Up g.gif 2nd Missouri Tigers 18 +8 Shoplifting, Bunch of Bullcrap arrests, DUI, DUI, Sexual Assault
3rd Minnesota Golden Gophers 17 -- Underage Drinking, Underage Drinking, Drunk and fleeing on a moped, DUI
4th Florida State Seminoles 16 -- Grand Theft Cell Phone, Nigel Carr's mini crime spree - Nigel Carr ETJIII award winner
4th ECU Pirates 16 -- Drinking, cursing, shouting, and being rude, 2 Bad Drunks, Drinking and peeing, Communicating Threats
6th Oregon Ducks 14 -- Assault, Two more assaults, Point adjustment, Weed
7th Louisiana-Lafayette Cajuns 13 -- 4 Players Growing Weed
7th Oregon State Beavers 13 -- Felony Golf Carting, Boating DUI,Underage Drinking, Nude and Tasered
9th Notre Dame Fighting Irish 12 -- Underage Drinking, Weed, Underage Drinking x8
10th Tennessee Volunteers 11 -- Drunk ghost ridin', Big bar fight with cops
11th Ohio Bobcats 10 -- Poor drunk car slalom, Bloody Botched Burglary, Bar Fight
11th Marshall Thundering Herd 10 -- Drunk fun with cops,DUI,Kicking the pizza guy
Up g.gif 11th Florida Gators 10 +2 Battery, Drinking while Driving, Underage Drinking
14th Duke Blue Devils 9 -- Shooting guns
14th UCLA Bruins 9 -- Purse Snatching
16th Colorado Buffaloes 8 -- Stealing headbands and smoking weed, DUI, Buying Beer for Kids,Failure to Show, Bicycle theft
16th Arkansas Razorbacks 8 -- Smoking out in car, Smoking out in car too, DUI, Careless Driving
16th Oklahoma State Cowboys 8 -- Public Intox, Beer Bottle Bar Brawl, DUI and weed
19th NC State Wolfpack 7 -- Assaulting a bus driver, Weed x4
19th Louisiana State Tigers 7 -- Disturbing the peace while drunk, DUI
19th Pittsburgh Panthers 7 -- Felony Assault
22nd Illinois Fighting Illini 6 -- Burglary, Possessing the goods from teammate's Burglary
Up g.gif 22nd UTEP Miners 6 +6 Tackled Girlfriend
24th Buffalo Bulls 5 -- Domestic Situation
24th Oklahoma Sooners 5 -- Peeing on barstools, Late Bonus Point, Didn't pay ticket,DUI
26th Kansas Jayhawks 4 -- Poorly executed armed robbery
26th Tulsa Golden Hurricane 4 -- Public Intox, Punching ex's window and boyfriend
26th Clemson Tigers 4 -- Assault
26th Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks 4 -- Simple Rape
26th Iowa Hawkeyes 4 -- Public Intox, DUI
26th Penn State Nittany Lions 4 -- Drankin, Disorderly Conduct
26th Iowa State Cyclones 4 -- Assault, Credit Card Theft
26th Nevada Wolfpack 4 -- Failure to appear, DUI
34th Louisiana Tech Bulldogs 3 -- .228 DUI
34th Washington State Cougars 3 -- DUI and assault
34th Boise State Broncos 3 -- Jaw Breaker
34th Southern Miss Golden Eagles 3 -- Disorderly Conduct
34th North Carolina Tarheels 3 -- Wake and Bake
34th Washington Huskies 3 -- Headstomping
34th Kansas State Wildcats 3 -- Hittin' Girls
41st Texas Longhorns 2 -- Resisting Arrest
41st Boston College Eagles 2 -- DUI
41st Utah State Aggies 2 -- Weed
41st Texas A&M Aggies 2 -- Hittin girls
41st Syracuse Orange 2 -- Assault
41st Nebraska Cornhuskers 2 -- Drunk minor peeing outdoors
41st Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets 2 -- Hitting Girls
48th USF Bulls 1 -- Driving with suspended license
48th South Carolina Gamecocks 1 -- Underage Drinking
48th Connecticut Huskies 1 -- Stole a powerbar
48th Arizona Wildcats 1 -- Guns
48th Ole Miss Rebels 1 -- Fighting


  • *- Individual Offenses, Thus in running for ETJ3 Award


Rules

The player in question MUST BE ON ROSTER at the time of arrest. No Ex-Players!

  • Murder: 5 points.
  • Rape: 4 points. Downgraded to one if either participant is wearing a clown mask.
  • Bestiality: 4 points. It's a form of rape, really, no matter how much the goat has had to drink. High point value justified further by the fact that it involves having sex with an animal. You could say this was unthinkable, but in the past year alone two stories involving college athletes and at least the association with barnyard bonhomie of a most intimate degree have been reported, including the EDSBS Official GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD: the arrest of Oregon State player Ben Siegert for stealing a sheep used in a study on homosexuality in sheep.
  • Grand Larceny: 4 points. We use this as a catchall for players being involved in crime so outrageous and well-planned it can only be described as 'nefarious,' 'professional,' or 'legislation.' Applies to large drug rings, chop shop operations, and the Haitian human trafficking ring that's been run out of the Miami locker room since '93. (We kid! They didn't get that thing humming 'til '95 at the earliest.)
  • Hitting Girls: 3 points. We'll downgrade this to 2 if the girl can hold her weight and requires daily medication to prevent her from gouging her own eyes out (since those were the ones we always ended up dating, and we understand); or we'll upgrade to 4 points if the damage includes intensive care. Dad always said never hit girls, so we take this one seriously. Dad also said always double down with split aces, too, but we'll be damned if we didn't end up selling bone marrow in Macau the last time we followed that bit of advice.
  • Car theft/Assault/Driving through houses drunk/Drug possession of the Tyrone Biggums variety: 3 points. "Drug possession" never sounds all that bad until you add in 'crack cocaine,' which is society's signifier that your life has gone from that of high functioning simian in a complex society to that of a rat with electrodes in your brain's pleasure centers hitting a pedal in a glass box in a lab. Weed? Par for the course, especially if you're NFL-bound. Crack? Break out the Sports Century 'Weepy Sonata' music, because the story of your descent from boundless potential has just begun, and they haven't even begun to show the grainy shots of 130-lb you huddled in a shelter on Skid Row.
  • Fightin' in 'da Club/Weed Possession/Standard DUI: 2 points. Any scenario involving group fighting of a thugged-out, 'we run this place' variety, and marijuana possession of the nickel bag level. Possession of 100 pounds of marijuana is a totally different thing, and takes you right back up to the 4 point 'nefarious' level.
  • Drankin'/Suspended License/Assorted petty misdemeanors: 1 point.

Bonus points are awarded for multiple team offenses. Upon the 4th team arrest, four bonus points are awarded. On the 5th team arrest, 5 bonus points are awarded. 6 points are awarded for the 6th team arrest and so on and so on... This only applies to separate incidences. 5 players arrested at the same party counts as one incident.\

The Ellis T Jones III rule states that no team can win the Fulmer Cup based solely on the performance of one player. If the top scoring team does not have more than one player arrested, the Fulmer Cup is awarded to the next top scoring team.

The Ellis T. Jones III Award

This award goes to the individual who contributes the most points to his team during the season, OR has the most incredible incident that resulted in Fulmer Cup points. Named after Ellis T. Jones III, the greatest collegiate criminal ever.
Ellis T. Jones III Award Winners:

  • 2009: USF's Trent Pupello with 17 points for a pistol whipping spree.
  • 2008: Alabama's Jimmy John with 20 points for selling cocaine.
  • 2007: Ronnie M. Wilson of Florida, for firing off a semi-automatic rifle during a road rage incident.
  • 2006: Ellis T. Jones himself, for 13 felony counts stemming from using Craigslist to meet robbery targets.

Past Fulmer Cup Champions

Related

NCAA DIVISION I-A FOOTBALL

2013 Fulmer Cup Standings
The Top 10:

1: Roll Tide - 16
2: Trojans - 15
3: Utes - 14*
4: Gators - 9
4: Blue Raiders - 9
6: Mountaineers - 6
7: Longhorns - 5
7: Cougars - 5
9: Wolfpack - 3
10: Aggies - 2

The Fulmer Cup.
Also In Contention:

11: Panthers - 1
11: Bulldogs - 1
11: Jayhawks - 1
11: Nitanny Lions - 1




Scoreboards:
2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | All-Time | The ETJ3 Award