Florida Gators

As of now, after losing to Michigan, it is no longer great to be a Florida Gator. Thank you, Urban Meyer.

Why the Gators make other fans sick

Look at this shit. They just won another national championship in basketball, immediately after football, following a national championship in basketball and their "fans", both of them, are too busy drinking Pabst at the truck pull to care. There are schools all over this country with fans who brave blizzards and monsoons to cling to every moment of their team's destiny in packed arenas and stadiums and they can't BUY a championship. These redneck fuckers don't deserve one championship let alone three. Let's see how long it takes for one of these fans to notice I just called them a bunch of rednecks. I'd bet two weeks but I can't find a fan to wager with.

Two and a half months and one more championship later, nothing but crickets in this ghost town.

For those of you counting at home, that makes...

• CHAMPIONSHIPS: 3 (4 if you include dancing with the stars extraordinaire Emmitt Smith)
• GATOR FANS WHO CARE: 0
• GATOR HATER FANS THAT ARE PISSED OFF AND JEALOUS: 250 Million

At least we don't have to watch that ugly ass freak dance around anymore. Enjoy, NBA fans!

I have been told that this is why you suck.

Steve Spurrier Era

• The Visor Timeline
  • December 31, 1989: the University of Florida contemplates establishing an actual football team
  • Somewhere in between: Fun n' Gun, SEC Championships, Heisman, National Championship
  • January 4, 2002: thousands of Gator Loyalists contemplate suicide

NFL Quarterback FAILURES

• Shane Matthews
• Danny Wuerffel
• Doug Johnson
• The Bachelor (Season 5)
• Rex Grossman
• Brock Berlin
• Ingle Martin

NFL Wide Receiver FAILURES

• Reidel Anthony
• Ike Hilliard
• Jacquez Green
• Travis Taylor
• Reche Caldwell
• Jabar Gaffney
• Taylor Jacobs

Ron Zook [name redacted] Era

Urban Meyer Era

• On January 8, 2007, apparently they won something.
• Urban Meyer's Seed

Future NFL Quarterback FAILURES

• Chris Leak
• Tim Tebow
• Cameron Newton
• John Brantley IV

Post Billy Donovan Era

• Since the universe has a tendency to balance things out and correct its own inconsistencies, it should be no surprise that Billy Donovan would leave Florida send a giant fuck you to the Orlando Magic Nation and the Gators would go back to being a mediocre basketball team DYNASTY, just as nature intended...
• proof now, that GOD himself has don'd the orange n' blue & officially hopped onto the gator bandwagon... which will in turn lead to the dark ages for hundreds of other divison I athletic programs
• This news is met with quiet disinterest by Florida football fans, otherwise known as people currently enrolled at Florida.

2010 Football Season

Following the glorious homecoming loss to SEC West powerhouse Mississippi State, notorious Gator fan and Forums poster Crazy685 had this to say:

Im going to give my thoughts on the University of Florida.

Just this once. No less, no more.

The University of Florida is like a Dinosaur. At once, they were a dominant force that all the other animals were terrified of. They tore through shit, they bit and jumped through whoever they wanted.

And then natural selection happened. Suddenly that dinosaur's moves and biting and everything was obsolete. That Dinosaur had the chance to adapt, to change, to be an actual predator. No. That dinosaur was going to stick with what it knew to be true. It was going to continue what led it to be a ferocious killer.

Then suddenly the triceratops killed it. The gayest weakest dinosaur killed it.

That is the University of Florida right now. The Gators are dead. They are literally dead. They refuse to adapt.

Other Locations

• The University of Florida at Columbus, Ohio