Ed Belfour
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Biography
Edward Joseph Baldwin George Gregory John Jackson Pollock The Eagle Belfour was born on June 32nd, 1967, shortly after the end of the Cold War, in Carman, Manitoba.
Interests
Billion Dollar Eddie loves to gamble, ride horses and modify cars for rich sports players and celebrities.
Ed is a strong supporter of civil rights and a pioneer in the acceptance of coloured players in the NHL community. See: Black Players In The NHL.
As a crucial step in the alcoholism recovery process, Ed Belfour likes to donate community service hours to local charities and hospitals.
NHL Teams
Belfour is not a fan of the Buffalo Sabres.
Jesus, You Guys Like Talking About Ed Belfour's Dick
My cousin told me about one time a few years ago, when she was at a redneck bar on Vancouver Island somewhere, when Ed Belfour and Darcy Tucker came in and everyone was partying with them, and basically the upshot of the story is that Belfour tried, on multiple occasions, to convince my cousin to engage in sexual acts with him, despite the fact that she was fifteen at the time. I was going to ask her what she was doing in a bar at fifteen but it was rural British Columbia, which is basically Alberta without the national reputation, and honestly I didn't want to hear any more about Ed Belfour's dick than I absolutely had to.
Wait a second, maybe I'm thinking of Felix Potvin. Well, they were both Maple Leafs anyways, who cares.
- Also, I saw Ed Belfour after the last game of the 2006 season coming out of a restaurant in Toronto. He is very, very short. Like shorter that Saku Koivu even. He was in the middle of telling Aki Berg descriptively about his dick. Y'know, short guys have issues with that.
What He's Doing Now
- He's gone to the Florida Panthers, presumably because he heard he can find lots of people his own age to play shuffle-board, instead of hockey, with.
So Is He Clean and Sober Then?
October 27, 2006 - "Witnesses said Belfour was drunk, but Belfour vehemently denied the charges, saying, 'There was no alcohol involved, whatsoever.'"
April 10, 2007 - "Belfour had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and smelled of alcohol, police said."
That Was Last Year, What About Now?
Belfour has recently signed a deal with Leksands IF, a second-tier team in the Swedish Elite League. It's really too bad he didn't sign in Russia because there was a drinking joke to be made there. Instead all we've got is maybe a little something on buxom blondes.
The Cars, the Crease and the Cocktails: The Ed Belfour Saga
The Eagle's life story is rumored to be converted into a feature Hollywood film by 2013. Rumored actors to be playing the part of the former NHL netminder are Gary Busey, Brandon Fraser, Pauly Shore and The other guy from Encino Man.
