Dion Phaneuf
From SAS Wiki
Possibly the best defensive captain to grace the National Hockey League since Scott Stevens, Dion Phaneuf is scarier than the first 45 minutes of Jaws and the original radio broadcast of War of the Worlds put together. And then his interviews end and he goes out and plays hockey.
Known primarily for his big hits, big one-timer, and love of Shakespeare, Phaneuf scored 20 goals in his rookie season on a Calgary Flames team that managed to score just 21 goals all season. He also led NHL rookies in the all-important "intimidating stares."
Phaneuf did not win the 2006 Calder Trophy due to East coast bias, but probably beat up Alexander Ovechkin and took it anyway.
In a suprise move to confuse and bewilder Northwestern opponents, Darryl Sutter traded Dion to the Maple Leafs for a group of grinders. This move is considered a success as Dion was named the Leafs captain, which hasn't been occupied since Mats Sundin had an urge to pet a whale.
Phun Phacts
- Phaneuf was voted "Most likely to look like Frankenstein's monster" in high school.
- Phaneuf travelled back in time and single-handedly won the 1972 Summit Series, but graciously let Paul Henderson take all the credit so as not to pollute the timeline.
- Got to have Elisha Cuthbert after Sean Avery had his way with her.
- Worst cover athlete for an EA Sports NHL game ever.
- Recently completed the entire Hooked on Phonics collection and was awarded a gold star by Ron Wilson.
