Daniel Alfredsson
From SAS Wiki
Daniel Alfredsson is Ottawa's longest-serving player, captain, and he holds the records for highest career and highest season scoring. Daniel Alfredsson's regular season glories do not adequately reflect his ineptness in all manners of playoff hockey. But he's loved all the same. <3
He also likes to inexplicably make grand promises to appease the Ottawa media, which is made up of a hot dog, two sports journalists, and two political journalists who got lost on their way to Parliament Hill. Unfortunately, he usually buckles under the enormous pressure he puts on himself. Numerous theories are presented as to why his team buckles:
- They play the Leafs.
- They make the playoffs.
- They face competent goaltending, and are often stuck with incompetent goaltending.
His promises include:
- A guaranteed Stanley Cup, in a season in which the Senators lost to the Leafs in the first round.
- A guarantee to win a playoff round, which they lost to the Leafs.
- A guarantee to win a crucial game seven against the Leafs, which they lost.
- A guarantee to score in a game against the Buffalo Sabres, in which his defensive skills allowed the game winning goal by Jason Pominville. In overtime. With Ottawa on the powerplay. He also made this guarantee against the Leafs and it failed too, but really I hate rubbing it in (0-4).
Trivia
- Doesn't like to score in playoff games.
- Has the leadership and foresight of a potato
- In alternate realities which certain Ottawa fans live in, Daniel has "vastly superior" stats to Pavol Demitra.
- By an amazing coincidence, had his best season ever at the age of 33 while playing on a line with two future perennial All-Stars. But I'm sure it was all him.
- Shoots pucks at Scott Niedermayer during important games of the Stanley Cup Finals
