Curtis Joseph
From SAS Wiki
A Canadian NHL goaltender.
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Edmonton Oilers Era
Curtis Joseph began his NHL career with the Edmonton Oilers. He then left, because all the cool kids do it.
Prior to beginning his NHL career with Edmonton, he also began his career by playing for the St. Louis Blues from 1989-1995.
Toronto Maple Leafs Era
Curtis signed with the Toronto Maple Leafs after leaving the adoring embrace of Edmonton Oilers fans, mostly because the Leafs didn't suck as much and they offered him several shiny barrels full of cash. Joseph quickly became a fan favourite with his lightning-quick reflexes and recovery ability, in addition to his already famous hand-breaking ability.
As a Leaf, Joseph spent many long and lonely nights tending goal in front of Norris-calibre defensemen such as Aki Berg and Jyrki Lumme. His immense talents frequently went to waste as the Leafs only faced as many as 30 shots just about every fucking game. His playoff heroics rescued the Leafs from defeat against many inferior teams, but only because Shayne Corson was holding back his goalscoring abilities in order to avoid embarassing the NHL's weaker teams.
Joseph left the Leafs after being convinced that the Dave Lewis-led Red Wings would give him a better chance at a Stanley Cup. Unfortunately, Curtis was dead fucking wrong.
Detroit Red Wings Era
Curtis signed with the Detroit Red Wings late in his career. It is widely believed by infamous poster Schrodinger's Cat that in order to spite them he intentionally let in goals at key moments during the regular season and playoffs.
In 2004, Curtis became the third goaltender behind Dominik Hasek and Manny Legace. He was demoted to Grand Rapids of the AHL, where he began as a back-up goaltender because the Griffins' starting goalie was on an 8-game winning streak.
Phoenix Coyotes Era
Following the lockout which caused the 2004-05 NHL season to be lost, Joseph went in search of a powerhouse hockey club that could provide him with that Stanley Cup he'd always wanted. Unfortunately, the best team he could find was the Phoenix Coyotes. Even the coaching of hockey legend Wayne Gretzky couldn't help him win a Cup, make it into the playoffs or make anyone give a rat's ass about the Phoenix Coyotes. It has been claimed by some that Gretzky did show Curtis how to shut out overrated teams ranging from San Jose (8-0) to Carolina (2-0).
A Bunch of Shit Happened
I'm pretty sure he just wanted to outlast Hasek, so now he is inexplicably back with the Leafs.
